My Miriam -
I walked into your bedroom this morning humming happy birthday, smiling and wondering… could it really be one year? Oh my, what a year can do. One year ago today, I was in the hospital. I was lying in a bed with momma and T in the room while music played and we chattered on waiting. Anxiously waiting for you to arrive. To describe the labor doesn't really do it justice. It was like an out of body experience for me. Like I'm there, and focusing, and pushing, and crying, but it was completely surreal. And then, bam, there you were. Puffy and round faced and with your mouth open wide in a perfect "o". Those cheeks and those eyes??… I mean come on. It was some major luuuvin at first sight. "…there really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child." - Anne Lamott
You weren't even a week old and already you had flipped our world around. It was such a blur and I was exhausted, but I loved you so much I could barely stand it. It would be the middle of the night and you wouldn't sleep a wink unless I held you close. So I'd wrap you up like a burrito, rock you, then climb in the bed snuggled with you right on my chest. That's how small you were. I'd pile pillows on every side in fear of us rolling off and then I'd listen to you breathe. Up and down, baby breath on my neck as we'd finally both slip into a deep slumber. It was a steep learning curve, but we slowly figured life out together. So many feedings, and diapers, and rocking. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was so fiercely scared & tired while simultaneously overcome with joy & strength. Therein lies the balance of motherhood. The back and fourth you feel on daily basis, but we survived the first year! And we were so very grateful. Grateful for a healthy baby & a helpful family. Baby, you taught us so much in such a short time.
Then we brought you back to Greenville and watched you grow and change every day. Your wobbly head got strong. You sat up in the bumbo without slumping over. And that little bitty body started to grow out of infant clothes. Every milestone was exciting. Every babble, and giggle, and roll. You went from one side of the baby tub to the other as you learned to sit. We watched your tiny fingers discover how to pick up tiny things. And best of all you were just happy. I barely believed anyone that you would actually sleep through the night, but you did. Small miracles were happening all of the time.
Here we are today and you're eating food, making a mess with your toys, chewing on shoes, sitting up in your crib when I come in, crawling, singing funny noises, and pulling up on the dishwasher. It's crazy how much you've changed and we sure did change right along with you. Soon you'll be walking and talking and doing things I can't even fathom. Slow down please ladybug! It's all going so fast. We're grateful for all of your smiles and we will love you forever. Happy Birthday Baby Moosh.
"All our babies lead us to the truth of the good news of the Gospel. Into this broken world a child is born. This Holy Child, the incarnation of Love, can turn our hearts to flesh and bring peace. This Child can bring us to our knees in that kind of gratitude that moves us beyond our doubt into our hopes. We can believe that with our whole hearts. This child has to lead us; it is our saving grace." - Becca Stevens